Phd is a totally different ballgame. With Masters, you can still hem and haw and yet produce what you need to in order to pass. With Phd, you need to be focussed, alert and prepared. And right now, I am not in any of these three levels, which worries me. I worry that I don't have what it takes to be a Phd student. I worry that I might not be able to produce the results needed for a Phd thesis. I worry that I might not be able to make a good presentation. I worry about my losing grasp of the english grammar and vocabulary. But I guess, I just have to kick myself in the ass and put myself into motion and get rid of all those worries. Hah! Easier said than done.
I love what I am doing, I love what I am studying. It fascinates me and I find myself lucky to be able to fullfill this part of my dream. Another three more years and I would graduate with another degree. But then, what comes next? That would be another problem to solve during my three years here.
Oh, yes, I finally got my Master's certificate two weeks back. It was huge - as in size wise. I had two, one in Japanese and one more in English. It finally hit me then, that I had graduated. However, there was no big graduation ceremony for me. I just walked downstairs to the office, signed a few forms and the kind lady handed me the certs with "congratulations". That is the sad part about graduating in the second semester.
So before I forget:
To my professors, thank you. Without them, this would not have been possible.
To my family and all those dear to me (and you guys know who you are!), I would like to say thank you. Thank you for being there for me during my two years here doing my Masters. The first few months were hard, being away, but friends here made it much, much, much more bearable and in fact, more enjoyable than I ever thought possible. Those karaoke sessions helped alot!
To my labmates, without you guys, I would still be the lost ryugakusei wandering around Kyoto! Thank you for all the help you have given me and I have learnt so much from you guys and it is not just in the academic sense.
So, as the Japanese will say, I will "gambatte"!